Misery Business !

I am sooo happy ! Another year, I made it . It's '09' ! ! ! Finally, I mean I wanna forget '08' & all it's problems, and the scars & tears it came with . I want '09' to be better, but I realize that life is on as hard as you make it . I can't expect '09' to just be different, I have to put in an effort to make it different . My New Year's resolution this year is to be more ( not in a selfish way ) more self centered . I mean I have to get my life together, I can't be worrried about other peoapl & their problems, or other people in general . Other people aren't going to graduate for me, other people aren't going to keep in shape for me, other people aren't going to take of me better then me ! It's time I grow up more, I mean I got really mature this past, year mainly because I had to grow . It was many situations that caused me to have to grow up, but you know I have no objections to it . I mean I can't take it back so whatever happened, happened . I think the only good thing anybody got outta '08' was Barack Obama ! As I said before, I am going leave '09' behind & follow my own philosophies this year . "Life is like a stage & everybody's watchin', so get your act together ." My English teacher taught me that, and this year I am going to follow it . I am no longer going to be afraid of what people think of me sometimes . I mean for the most part, I don't give a shit, but there are times where I do care . No more ! Anyways I am excited to see what the New Year brings . To all that read this, Happy New Year ! ! !

"I'm in the business
of misery !"

Trouble .

I miss my faves sooo much ! I don't know what I'm gone do 2mrw, because as you know it's New Years Eve . I mean I know I got to work until 10pm then after that I'm out that bitch ! Lol . I miss my bestfriends too . Especially Shanique, I love her sooo much, her & Jessica are my bestfriends ever ! We everything about each, damn I love them .

What I need the most right now though is a phone ! Ugh life without one is terrible . I hope I got to the mall & get them brown chucks so I can wear em' with my new brown army jacket thingy . Well this is all I can think of, meanin' this is all I'm gone type for now, I'm gone !

"You & me together, that
spells trouble . . "

Stepping Stone .

I have to share this, I have 2 days off of work ! Lol . I mean I am very excited at that because the simple fact is that my schedule's be on some bull, lmfao . I mean I got 2 days off & work 2 days straight . Anyways I miss some of my fam . I miss Kisha, Kiana, Franny, Dre all them hoes . I ain't seen them since like the summer ! I miss em' sooo much .

I have been havin' fun lately at work . I mean I love my Little Ceasars fam . We all have lil' menu names . Like I'm Deep Dish, Ashlei is Butter & Parm, Damien is PCB, Danyalle is ICB, Tandra is Baby Pan Pan, Peytra is 8 piece, RJ is Crazy 8, Oakley is Ultimate Supreme, lol . It's fun .

You know I have been talkin' about losing weight for the new year & shit . & my main exscuse was that I needed an iPod, well now that I got one I am going to begin my exercisin' process 2mrw . I finally have everything I needed . Well this is all .

" I'm standing upright
on my own ! "

Shawty, I'm finna take you Outerspace !

Alright . This is a very random blog ! I lost my fuckin' phone ! Lol, this shit is gettin' to become ridiculous . I'm buying another on this weekend, I mean honestly though . This is going to be phone number 5 this year . Anyways, I am lovin' the fuck outta my x-mas presents . The iPod is very pleasing, lol . The cam is the shit as always, oh & the coat is a lil lonely . I mean it's only lonely because it doesn't have any shoes to match them, but I'm finna change all that !

You know how I was always talking about becoming internet famous, well I have the opportunity . The time is now, I mean I am becomin' more & more known . Time for the vids, but I am a lol scared because I don't know what to say in my vids . I mean I have an idea, but I don't wanna look dumb . I'm gone record my first vid tonight and hope it goes well . I'm gone upload it on Facebook first then if it gets a good response then that means its time for the Tube, lol . YOUTUBE ! ! Internet stardom, here I come .

" I'm gonna take you
outerspace ! "

Are You Going To Go My Way ?

Omg, my Christmas was the shit . I loved it . I mean I got literally everything I wanted . I have to go to work today, though . I don't want to, but I'm gone go . I mean I gotta make that & don't let it make me ! Lol . Anyways this is like a short blog because I don't got shit to talk about right now .

" & I won't stop
until I'm done "

Mannequin .

Merry Christmas ! Today is Christmas 2008 . Man I honestly think this is by far the best Christmas I have ever had . I got literally everything I wanted ! I got a iPod nano (the new version), a new sweet ass camera (sony: cybershot), a army like jacket thing & 100 dollars from my dad plus whatever I got left from my last check, and whatever my mama give me .

Then on top of that, Ja'Len got Guitar Hero : World Tour, Mortal Kombat VS. DC Universe, and Soul Caliber IV . They are all fun as fuck, especially Guitar Hero : World Tour . Best game ever ! Well um thats all for now, Merry Christmas again biatches !

" My face like a
mannequin . "

Damn You Look Good & I'm Drunk .

Recently I was fired . It was my first time ever ! I was mad & confused . The reason for me being fired was because, ok , like 2 weeks ago a man came in with a counterfeit 5 ! My boss took it and hung it up in our store so that we would know how one looks . Now Sunday night was the night it came up missing . My boss didn't know who did it so he had to fire everybody that worked that night . Then he just called my house & talked to my dad and said that his wife, my old boss, told him that I wouldn't do nothing like that . So I got my job back . I'm actually excited, because today is Christmas Eve & that means when I get home from work I only have to wait for 2 more hours until I can open up my ipod, play Guitar Hero : World Tour, & play Mortal Kombat Vs. Dc Universe . I can't wait !

Well in other news, I am actually missing school . I miss mainly my friends that I know I'm not going to see outside of Cody . It's not alot of them though, so . I guess that's it for now . . .

" don't ask me to sign
your skin . "

Drum Life .

OK, here we are . Yet another year ending & so much has happened . I must say honestly that 2008 has been the worst year of my life, no scratch that, 2nd worst year of my life . This year started off with a funeral ! I mean like literally after the year had began we had a funeral like a week later . It was my great-grandma on my fathers side . It was sad, but I mean I didn't know her like that . Then afterwards my family was basically told that our grandma (well my great-grandma) wasn't going to make to see the end of the year . We were told that there was no chance, and that she had fluid in her body & the cancer had gotten worse . We were all on edge for days . Though we were all hurt and afraid, my grandma wasn't . She was brave . She said that cancer doesn't have her, she has cancer and shes going to fight it . She did ! The cancer went away for a few months, its back but shes still fighting . As I began to say her is another year ending & my grandma is still here . . .

So, think that was it ? Wrong ! Just when I thought, hey my year can't get any worse, right . Well buckle your seat belts because that was just the tip of the iceberg . Let me take you to May 2008 . I'm finally 16 ! That should make me happy right, well nope . My mother & father had been (at the time) becoming more & more increasingly violent . They fought everyday, for half the time no reason . Mind you, they'd been together for 16 years . Since my birth, and have been literally fighting physically since . They had always had their little fight once in a while, but this had gotten out of hand . My main belief of this is because as my mother's life began to become more, idk, rich , my father's began to become tragic . His father was diagnosed with cancer, and he hadn't had a job in YEARS ! I mean when I say my moms life became more rich, I meant it . She had been told to be a comedian for years . She finally did it . She had her own comedy show & did stand-up . She had business partners and everything . One of her business partners was a wealthy comedian, whose name I forgot by now, who she worked with the most . My father had become more & more jealous . So finally the shit hit the fan ! My father came home from where, idk, & my moms business partner was here with his kids . He couldn't find a babysitter so his kids played with my little brother, while they talked business . Then they decided to go outside & watch the kids play for a minute . He began to play with the kids also & my father watched angrily calling him my moms new man . He noticed the tension and left . My father began to walk around the house mumbling "You got this nigga playin' wit my son & shit ." "You got you a nice lil family man, huh ?" My mom brushed him off, and ignored him . He grabbed a stack of my moms flyer's and ripped them up and began throwing chairs and things . My mom afraid of what he might do, had to sneak out the house & get help . He normally doesn't bother us, but tonight he was pissed . He hadn't hit me but he choked up my little brother who is mind you 10 and threw him into a wall & tossed him on his bed . It was a huge shock, I mean I was terrified . Normally if he had fought my mom I jumped in and got him off of her . For some reason I sat there, my mind went blank & I froze . Long story short, my daddy hit my mama, I fought dad, mom got a restraining order, dad ripped it up, fought mom again, mom shot dad, kids almost tooken . It was too much to type .

This year also had some good times . D'Andre FINALLY graduated, lol . I got a job . My moms starting her own grant writing business . Things are lookin' up towards the end of the year, hopefully we go into '09' with something good . I can't deal with no more bad .

" It's not hard living inside
of a drum ! "